House of Mirrors
by Hasu Kurenai
Summary: A possible drabble collection on test drive. A variety of genres and characters included. Rating may go up. Hope you enjoy it :


**AN: I'm now fully caught up on D. Gray Man =) I wish it would come out faster though...anyhoo, I liked the idea of this fic, and yes, I know people have probably done this already, but...um...O_O this has my special touch...? Hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man**

**Word prompt: Jam **

Breakfast was such a tedious affair. Lavi could predict every moment: Lenalee would breeze by with a tray of fresh coffee for the exhausted and overworked science department. Allen and Kanda would find some excuse to go for each other's throats. Miranda would most likely trip over something or other. And so on.

"Hey, Yu-chan, wouldn't it be awesome if something awesome happened?"

"Stop using my first name."

"Answer the question!"

"Not really, no."

Lavi decided he was better off conversing with someone more responsive. He clicked his tongue in annoyance and jumped up from the table. Allen was always up for fun. It wasn't so much looking for the exorcist as it was searching for a gourmet mountain at least five metres tall. In short, an easy task.

"Hey, Allen!"

"Good morning, Lavi", Allen said around a mouthful of food. He cleared one plate and nudged it out of the way, replacing it with another. It never failed to amaze the junior Bookman. He shook his head in awe as Allen all but inhaled the food. Both boys sat in a silence that was only broken by the clinking of dishes, Allen's incessant chewing and his occasional sigh of contentment.

"So, Lavi. Is there something you wanted to ask me?"

"No. Why?"

"I don't know. You just look a bit...expectant."

"Well, sorry for just wanting to spend some time with a sentient being", Lavi grumbled, narrowing his eyes at a certain Japanese exorcist. Understanding dawned on Allen's mellow features.

"Hey! Something awesome should happen!"

Allen looked at him blankly. "Like what?"

Lavi groaned. "Does anyone in this god-forsaken crap hole know the meaning of the word 'imagination' ?" Allen smiled.

"Aren't you going to leap into defence or something? God, please don't say it's true! I just want something _exciting _to happen!"

As soon as the words left his mouth, a bowl of porridge up-ended itself on his head, it's viscous contents oozing down his face.

"Lavi! Oh, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Aleister Crowley looked fit to burst into tears. Lavi shook his head, a wry smile curling the corners of his mouth. "Oh, Crow-chan", he chuckled, conspicuously reaching for some kind of sauce that had miraculously escaped the black-hole that was known as Allen Walker. With calculated speed, he twirled the container in his deft fingers, flipping open the lid and unleashing a concentrated burst of...fish sauce?

"Ha!" Lavi exclaimed, whirling around to face the enemy. His eyes bulged from their sockets.

"....."

"Hmm?" Crowley glanced up from his kneeling position, wet cloth in hand as he wiped up the splatters of porridge on the floor.

"You...." Kanda Yu rose very slowly from his seat, wiping fish sauce from his face. The movement possessed all the foreboding of Darth Vader drawing his lightsaber. A visibly terrified Lavi struggled to hold his ground. His jaw trembled, and his left foot brushed backwards ever so slightly. Then, he snapped.

"Run, Allen! For the love of God, if you value your life, _RUN!_" Lavi threw himself theatrically across the table, hurling all manner of missiles he could get his hands on in a desperate attempt to obstruct the homicidal exorcist behind him. They hit anything but their target, and cries of outrage and annoyance echoed through the vast dining hall.

"FOOD FIGHT!"

There was a roar of approval as everyone sprang into action. Allen scrambled backwards and watched Lavi and Kanda disappear into the fray. Such a tragic waste of beautiful food, he thought sadly, failing to dodge a flying dollop of jam. It smacked the side of his head, running down his cheek. Out of curiosity, he collected a small sample with his finger.

"Raspberry", he murmured, smiling happily as he licked more from his fingers. Crawling on all fours to avoid the worst projectiles, he slipped through the door and escaped into the hallway. He sighed in relief as he slumped against the wall.

"Allen! Oh, God! Allen! Hang in there, Allen!"

"Wha-"

"How did they get in? Reever, call for all reinforcements to come to the dining hall at once! We're under attack!"

"Walker!" Link exclaimed, staring in horror at the silver-haired youth. "He's got a nasty head wound! I'll try to patch it up, and then activate the Innocence and destroy the Akuma-"

"Gah! He got me!" Lavi dramatically staggered through the door way. "It's a massacre!"

Link and Komui exchanged horrified glances. "It's worse than we thought", Link muttered.

"Hell yeah!" Lavi grinned. "Trust me, you don't wanna be going in there!"

"Where's Miranda? Get her to activate the Time Record! We cannot allow Akuma to take the base!"

"Akuma?" Lavi looked puzzled. "What did I miss?"

"Komui-san, Link, it's alright. It's jam, not blood. Its raspberry jam", Allen laughed.

Both men paused.

"That is one mean food fight", Lavi said enthusiastically. Komui lowered his head, peering dubiously over the rim of his glasses. "Food fight?"

Lavi and Allen both grinned. Link shook his head and turned to address the Supervisor. The man was nowhere to be seen, and the cafeteria door swung on its hinges. Link closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, before storming into the room.

"Supervisor Komui Li! If you cannot set a decent example for your subordinates, I shall have to report you to Inspec-"

He was cut off by when a pancake arced magnificently through the air, leaving jet trails of maple syrup, and landed perfectly on his head.

"Whoever did that...is dead", he said quietly. The room fell silent.

"Oh, Link! Be a sport!" Komui chortled.

"No one is leaving this room until this room is spotless! If the head of authority cannot exude even an ounce of decorum, then it falls to me to ensure order is upheld. Now everyone, take a cloth and get scrubbing."

**-oOo-**

"Hey, Yu-chan! Pass me that bucket will you?" Lavi wiped his forearm across his forehead, holding out a hand to receive the requested object. The bucket crashed over the crown of his head.

"Yu-chan!" Lavi cried.

"I blame _you_", Kanda snarled, wringing a wet cloth over a bowl of soapy water. He scrubbed the floor viciously, his hands assuming a rather claw-like shape.

"Well, I blame Crow-chan", Lavi muttered.

"Nope." Allen cheerfully dumped his own bucket next to the duo. "I actually agree with our beloved psychopath. I blame you too."

"No fair", Lavi complained. "You're ganging up on me!"

Any further protests were silenced by the murderous intensity of the evil glares being directed at him by his comrades.

"Well, I, for one, thought that was an awesome morning", he huffed.

**Well? What did you guys think? It might become a little drabble series, if you'd like that =)  
Please leave a review, and a request or something ^-^ if you'd like. Thanks for reading!**


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